My imperfect desktop (and my helpful cat, Lucy).
My imperfect desktop (and my helpful cat, Lucy).

We can probably all relate to the joy we feel when we clean out our closet. As we begin sorting through the piles of dirty and unfamiliar clothing, we tell ourselves that we will never again let the closet get in such disarray.

 

Maybe you are super organized and have all your clothes sorted by color and like items. If you are a Miss Tidy, I commend you. Organization is a great skill to possess. However, for many of us keeping our closet that neat for a prolonged period of time is simply unrealistic. I know people who crave that level of perfectionism, and, because they can’t quite reach that level, they simply give up. It becomes a very black-and-white issue for them. Because they can’t attain perfectionism, they don’t even try to maintain a semblance of order.

 

Perfectionism is a terrible thing. I see it affect so many people — myself included. And now that we have begun a new year, I see an increase in unrealistic goal setting with regard to our weight loss surgery lifestyles. WLS friends come to me and say things like, “This time I’m not going to slip up,” and, “I’m cutting out all refined carbs for good.” On the surface, these may seem like worthy and ambitious goals; and, I certainly would not want to discourage anyone who is so highly motivated. The problem is that we often set ourselves up for failure when we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves.

 

Fortunately, a consequence of a less-than-perfect closet means you spend an extra 10 minutes in the morning looking for a shoe. Or, you wear the red sweater to work because you can’t find the blue one.

 

When it comes to our weight loss surgery lifestyle, the consequences of our actions are much more severe. When we substitute perfectionism for an “I give up” attitude, we make ourselves vulnerable to weight regain, depression, isolation, and more.

 

Instead of reaching for perfectionism this year or any year, try setting goals that are clearly defined and quantifiable. For example, maybe your goal is to lose 20 more pounds in 2009. Mark your progress gradually over time, and try to be kind to yourself when you occasionally stumble. We all do from time-to-time; not one of us is perfect. And we have our closets to prove it.

 

Katie Jay is Director of the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. She lives with her family (including her cat Lucy) in Wilmington, NC.

 

 

 

 

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