My family watched the movie Rudy a few weeks ago. In it, a young man who had learning challenges, and an unsupportive family, had a strong desire to play football for Notre Dame.

The things he went through to make that dream a reality are truly amazing. He never gave up. He worked hard, took plenty of abuse, and kept going even when he thought failure was certain.

While he eventually made the football team, he participated in only one play, during the last football game of the season, in his senior year.

If you study football history, Rudy would not be considered a successful player. Only one play in his entire football career?

But to me he is a hero.

I spoke at a weight loss surgery support conference last weekend and met many wonderful people. Several of them asked me why I am so successful with my gastric bypass surgery. They wanted to know my SECRET.

I find this question difficult to answer. First of all, what is the definition of success? For me, it includes not having a high A1C reading (a test for diabetes). It also includes fitting into a certain pair of pants that I love. Not being depressed (I get depressed when I eat sugar.) And not obsessing about food 24/7. Oh yeah, and taking my vitamins.

I am such a perfectionist, I don’t always see myself as successful. I see every misstep and every flaw. If you want to know the truth, I feel like Rudy — trying my best, but with many challenges.

I harbor an unrealistic idea that perfection equals success.

And I want to change that belief — so I am working on doing just that. Instead of allowing myself to believe that perfection is success, I am actively working on adopting these beliefs:

  • Success is remaining on the team, even if I’m not the best player.
  • Success is building up my strengths, so that my weaknesses don’t prevail.
  • Success is showing up for training: learning new skills, experimenting with a variety of techniques, and practicing.
  • Success is continuing on — even when I am hurting or tired.

When I think about Rudy’s approach to reaching his goals, and not about being perfect, I know I am successful.

So, my secret to success isn’t a formula for being perfect, it is an attitude of perseverance and a willingness to be imperfect. It’s the willingness to show up for the game with the ever-present belief that someday I’ll get to play.

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